“If you talk to God, you are praying; If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.”
– Thomas Szasz
I was living in a studio apartment in Tacoma, Washington. I was 22 and nothing was going my way. I had two jobs and another one on its way. I was planing on taking the Series 6 to sell insurance for Woodbury Financial. I was a server at Jillian’s in Tacoma and also working as a host at a casino called Freddie’s.
In 2001, I was a promising young all-nude entertainer at a local gentleman’s club. It was a wonderful job. Everyday I would learn something new about myself, compliments boosted my confidence, and I had the most money I’ve ever had. I was a spiritual guru trapped in a stripper’s body.
I was listening almost exclusively to Dr. Wayne Dyer and I wanted to motivate people. I wanted to give a little happiness to the lonely. Manifest your destiny! Everything happens for a reason. You get what you give. Everything was great until it wasn’t.
I was watching the news in the early morning when I saw a plane hit the second Trade Center tower. When I arrived to work a handful of regulars filled us in on the latest news. No one really knew what was happening. All the girls were worried. Everyone was worried. When people are in fear for war or the unexpected they don’t spend money on lap dances.
The hit was catastrophic to a new dancer’s career. I panicked. Interviewed for several positions at various locations and stopped dancing. It felt like more security, but I just spread myself out too thin. I was over-worked and under-paid.
After a few months of working I became muddled with depression. Maybe it was all the rain, but whatever it was I found myself alone in my studio searching for change. I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I was 22, and I needed to do something with my life. But what? Vegas was in the back of my mind, but I didn’t want to go alone. Tormented with not knowing what to do, I tossed and turned until I heard
the Lord’s voice a voice in my head. “Go to Vegas.” And that’s all the confirmation I needed.
I was on the phone with my girlfriend, Joy, the next day. I gave my noticed of leave and never looked back. It was the best thing I’ve ever done.